t.m.i.

Today I had a doctor's appointment. While in the waiting room, there was only one other person (also, why is it that even when there are 15 empty seats, people choose to sit in the seat right next to you?!)...a woman, although she resembled a man (this may be why she wanted to sit directly beside me if you catch my drift), with a permed mullet. In the waiting room, there was also a TV. So, I was sitting there minding my own business when the permed mullet woman says, "I just can't take this anymore". I was confused, unsure whether she was referring to the HGTV program we were watching or something else. She proceeds to tell me that she hated coming to the doctor. I just kind of laughed nervously like I tend to do when I'm uncomfortable and said, "Yeah".

A couple minutes later she elaborates and begins to tell me (through half closed eyes, mind you. Like maybe she was high, drunk, or maybe just tired???) that she had to drink 40 ounces of water (or maybe 40 ounces of vodka by the looks of her) to fill up her bladder so the doctor could get a good "look". I'm not sure what body part, exactly, the doctor was looking at because then she tells me that she's going to get a hysterectomy. Last time I checked, those parts don't have anything to do with the bladder. Nurses, help me out if I'm misunderstanding, though. Remember that the only response I had to her was "Yeah" after her very first comment. But, apparently I opened the door for her to share her entire medical (and menstrual) history. She goes on about how they don't have to do a total hysterectomy, but that she's going to have them do one because "as you get older your periods get worse. They're a b!tch. They just get heavier and heavier".

As if God sent one of his angels, a nurse opened the door and called my name. Note to self: next time a mulleted freak starts small talk with you at the doctor's office, do not try to be polite and respond or else you might hear how heavy her periods are.