Thursday, May 13, 2010

i'm a complete failure

Well, I've been pretty down on myself lately, running-wise. I had a 10k on the books last weekend and I had to bail out at mile 3.75. I was completely bummed because I've absolutely never quite mid-race before! I never even walk if I get tired, let along completely bail!

I pulled into the race location (Krug Park) last Friday night really nervous about the run. Not so much the distance, but the course. It was going to be 5 loops around the park which has a steep hill about the first quarter mile. Not too bad if you're doing it once or maybe even twice, but five times would be brutal. I freaked when I heard we were going to have to loop five times! So, mentally, I was already in a bad place. Anyway, when I pulled into the park, I saw a teenage couple making out in the middle of the road. So, my last two races (and within one week of each other) I see kids making out! Strange! At least they weren't 11 years old this time...LOL.

When we lined up for the race, there were only 14 of us doing the 10k. And, by looking at the runners you could tell these were SERIOUS runners! So, I didn't exactly fit in. I made up my mind to start of slow and just keep that pace the entire run. Well, I started off slow in my head (my first mile was a pace of 7:47!), which was basically just comparing myself to the other runners since I was already in last place! At that point, though, I didn't care. I was just doing it for the exercise and to finish.

The first loop was OK, but once I got to the uphill portion, it was really tough. But, I made it to the top and realized I had to do it 4 more times?! Second loop was slower (pace: 9:28) and again, I struggled up the hill. Seriously, I could hardly breathe once I made it to the top. I joked that I could feel my baby gasping for amniotic fluid, even! LOL. By the third loop, I had to walk up the hill and was still completely exhausted. I decided that since I was so out of breath and I knew my heart rate had to be pretty high (higher than I should have had it in my condition, probably) that it was in my best interest to stop.

I was so disappointed in myself, mostly and even went to the car to call Coach and started crying. Of course, he was praising me for even attempting to do it at all and he was still proud of me, but I still felt like a loser. I got over it soon enough to cheer on my friend Kerry near the finish line. She came in first in her age group (I would have come in second...out of two people:) and last in the race. All racers ran a sub-ten minute mile. Actually, I'm pretty sure Kerry even ran a sub-9:30 mile, so in my opinion, those racers were amazing!

So, needless to say, I've definitely been in a running slump lately and wondering if it's time for me to turn in my sneakers for the remainder of my pregnancy or if I should continue to try to do 5ks or even flat 10ks. I haven't decided, but am definitely in need of some words of encouragement right now....anyone?

Oh, and, it probably goes without saying that the half marathon on my schedule for Sunday morning, is now off the schedule :(


  1. Hey,
    Seriously, I totally give you major props for even attempting that one! O can't stand loops and avoid them at all costs. I know its disappointing, but you are pregnant lady :) and in hindsight I bet you'll be glad for stopping. I bet a few more runs are still on your future. Stay smiling!!! You'll get your running back soon for sure :)

  2. That is awesome that you went out there to do are right though, you shouldn't push yourself past your comfort zone...that like one inside of you is WAY more important than any race!! When I was pregnant, I wasn't running yet, but I did do workout classes at the gym, and I always wore a heart rate monitor. Anytime my heart rate got over 150, I would slow myself down until it came down. I think you should still continue running, but realize that you will most likely not run where you would like to be, but it is just awesome to say that you are running while pregnant...not too many women cane say that...and once you have your little one, you can get right back out there and kill it! Good luck, and keep your chin up, and your running shoes tied...:)